Thirty Days in the Air

The trip is coming up soon! I am getting anxious about the whole ordeal now. I can’t put my finger on exactly what I am afraid of. My rent and bills here are paid for, flights booked, lodging arranged. I guess it is just a big undertaking and I feel like a lot is riding on it.

My friend Sarah13 recently wrote about fear and how it is a universal motivation. It keeps people in situations they don’t like, keeps them from going out of their routine. A lot of what I’ve done in the last four or five years has been about facing fear. Skateboarding, boxing, dating, this trip, and many other things. Every thing has the elements of fear and uncertainty.

In skating there is a maneuver called dropping in. It is where you are standing at the lip of a bowl or transition and you go from standing with your board out to skating down into the bowl. Physically it is very easy; mentally and emotionally it is very difficult. You have to convince yourself that you will survive it and that it is even something that is a good idea in the first place. Every amazing skater you have ever seen, has stood over the lip of some skate object and taken that big breath and dropped in. They faced that fear down.

Boxing is the same way. The hardest part is stepping into the ring. From there it is just an execution of your training. Dating is also terrifying for it’s own reasons. Talking to girls I just met isn’t nearly as hard as getting up the nerve to talk to them.

Usually, the anxiety waiting for the event is much worse than the event itself. Standing over the edge of the transition, waiting your turn while other boxers spar, seeing a pretty girl across the bar. All these situations just take a deep breath and stepping in.

I’m sure that once I’m on that first flight I will be doing great. Until then, I am a little jittery.