Thirty Days in the Air

On October 6th, which was technically the last day of the All You Can Jet special on Jet Blue, I pulled my first hosting gig at Capitol City Comedy Club in Austin, Texas.

Venue: See for yourself.  http:\\www.capcitycomedy.com

Host: Me.

Headliner and feature act, in order: Daniel Kinno and Kerri Lendo.  Daniel’s been on Bob and Tom, Carson Daly,  and the Just For Laughs festival.  Kerri’s an Austin comic who’s toured with Maria Bamford and was a finalist in our  Funniest Person in Austin contest.

The show was kind of small and was in the lounge, as opposed to the big showroom.  But it went great.

Today, as I was running Daniel around on some errands he asked, if I’ve been doing this for five years, why is this the first time I’ve hosted at Cap City?  The answer is that I wasn’t ready…and everybody knew it but me.  Could I have done it long before now and put on a decent show?  Yes.  And if I had pressed the club management I’m sure it could have happened a couple of years ago at least.  But I didn’t press.  Because I believed that waiting and patience were the way to get what you want.  Turns out they’re not.

You have to take what you want.  You have to stop defining your life in terms of working your way from the straw house, to the wood house, to the brick house.  You have to change the story, be the wolf, kick the fucking door down and feast on suckling pig.

I’m ready.  It was a good show.  The second night KP Anderson, the head writer for The Soup, did a guest spot.  Afterwards he told me I had funny stuff and to keep at it.

It happened when the time was right…but the time was right because I finally decided that it was mine to take.

So, I want to talk about the show at the Laugh Factory for just a second. Here’s the order:

Host: Allan Stephan, comedy “legend” and producer extraordinaire.  Material: Played “what’s your job” bingo with the audience until he found something he could work with, which I guess technically crowd work.  Told two jokes that I remember, and I remember them because I’ve heard them before on TV and I’ve never seen him in my life.  ”can’t look tough drinking out of a straw” and “When I was in school all I had was a pencil and the kid next to me and I think if he would have applied himself, I could have been somebody”.  Gave the impression that hosting was not what he would prefer to be doing at that particular moment.

1st feature: Erik Griffin.  Pretty funny actually.  If I make fun of the differences between the way white people and black people have sex, it’s racial material.  If I make Barrack and Michelle Obama the Black couple in question, then it’s political.  I’m so topical.

2nd feature: Buddy Lewis.  I did not laugh one single time during his set but I am admittedly a tough crowd.   Material:  My wife’s trying to make me fat, I’m old now, and the doctor stuck her finger up my butt this year.

Headliner: Ian Bagg.  I stomped, wheezed, spit my drink, and guffawed  during his set.  More than half was crowd work and it was clear that he had a deep well of material he could jump on if the laughs started to peter out at any point.

Half way through the show I was thinking to myself, “seriously?  These guys are all working on TV?  What the fuck am I waiting for?”  When Ian took the stage I remembered.  I’m waiting until I can to *that* to a crowd.

I woke up this morning, the third time, with a 75lb pit-mix named Jimmy breathing on my toes.  I was grateful; his breath was far warmer than my feet.  He was snuggled up to my legs under the covers.  For a long time I lay there and missed Maddy.  I missed her until I decided it was time to get off my ass and get moving…..

The first time I woke up was to say goodbye to Turbo.

Turbo rides bikes.  Today is the beginning of a pretty big ride.  It’s called Ride To Recovery; an event dedicated to raising funds for and awareness about taking care of the folks  who’ve been hurt, physically and mentally, in the service of our country.  I may not agree with the reasons why we put our folks in harm’s way but they still went.  Their duty was executed.  Ours is to see that they’re looked after now that they’re home.   Read about it.  If you feel like I do, click this link. Fill in the name of Dan Horndasch.  He’s going to be on the road for the next five days.  It would be a nice surprise if he got online in LA on Friday to discover that his efforts were a little more appreciated than when he started.

I…uh…am kind of dealing with some unexpected news.  So instead of blabbing…here’s a look at my afternoon walking around Long Beach.